Who’s Really Wicked Here?

So I’ve just finished Demonology, a text published in the late 1500’s and written by King James VI of Scottland/I of England. This dude obviously had a huge influence over not one, but two enormous groups of people. It seems that although he could have made great strides towards harmony between the two cultures he ruled over, he was unfortunately, bat freaking crazy. While I’m not saying he was a bad king, I am saying that he was a little weirdo and should probably not have been in charge.

Examples of the weirdness of King James I/VI according to the forward of this text: First of all, the poor nutter butter is the son of Bloody Mary of Scotland (who made it a point to kill her husband, decided she liked the rush and went out on a not so secret killing spree). Little James was fatherless and likely scarred for life as his mom was basically a terrorist. Enough about her though. James was very well read- probably because he wanted everyone to believe that he was divinely appointed to the throne by God and therefore, knew everything. For the same reason he was also a religious nut. He had a new translation of the bible printed as soon as he became king (one which carefully translated certain words to James’ benefit). He was very sexually confused it seems.  He was possibly gay as he preferred the company of young boys. However, it was also know that while “hunting” James liked to torture the crap out of animals, have sex with them, and then kill them and roll around in their blood. 

Yes. 

Now that I have your attention, I would like to emphasize that this man is the man responsible for the whole “thou shalt not suffer a witch to live” thing. I’m talking about Exodus 22:18. In the most popular edition of the bible ever –the King James Bible- that little quote pops up, and it was a big reason that many innocent men and women were tortured and killed in witch hunts. This quote was purposefully mistranslated by James. The Hebrew word that’s wrong here is kashaph, which James had translated to say witch. What it more accurately means is poisoner.

For some reason, schizophrenia maybe, James was positive that witches were out to get him. He encouraged the torture and death of witches, going so far as to invent new tortures and means of death for them himself. He also wrote this book, Demonology, on how to identify and then suitably punish witches and magicians.

I just want there to be an understanding when I talk about this text, that these conjurers are not based off of anything other than one influential man’s fears. Let us remember that when we explore this quote.

“What can be the cause that there are twentie women given to that craft, where ther is one man?/EPI: The reason is easie, for as that sexe is frailer then man is, so is it easier to be intrapped in these grosse snares of the Deuill, as was ouer well proued to be true, by the Serpents deceiuing of Eva at the beginning…”

I can understand the whole Adam and Eve reference, but it feels like an excuse to scapegoat women to me. I think that James is afraid of women. I mean, he’s probably gay for a reason. His mother was a mass murderer and he was probably witness to at least some of that. It seems like he targeted women because he is terrified of them to the point of irrational action. He wants to see them suffer. Now, James does say that men can be magicians or necromancers or sorcerers, but it seems that only women can be witches and witches are common whereas the other types of conjurers he lists are rare.

Closing thoughts: This text explains a lot about witches and there are a lot of magical stereotypes in it which James probably coined. Magicians –like Merlin- can make dishes dance and have powers of sight. He discusses spirits, circles, and the use of blood in magic. He gives witches vampire-esk fears like holy water –wicked witch of the west melts- and rosaries. Having just started D&D again, I can say I have a better understanding of where a lot of the rules regarding magic find their origins. Generally this seems like fear of power at its height. James doesn’t want anyone to be above him to the point where he goes crazy and starts imagining beings which might usurp him. To prove how all-powerful he is, he kills them. In doing so he shows his people how powerful he is. It’s a nasty thing if you ask me. I think the witch hunts may also have been another cruel form of entertainment for him (just like his other hunts. eeeww :P)